We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
