Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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