Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
