you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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