Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
