TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
