I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
