i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
