did you get engaged???
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
