there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
