he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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