You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
