we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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