someone get that fucking seahorse.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
