what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
one might say we're banned from that church
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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