So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
