Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
There's even glitter on my cock...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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