Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
