If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
