Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
