I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
