he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
