i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
