I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
