It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
