just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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