I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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