Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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