Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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