It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
