just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think I am morally bankrupt
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
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Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
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There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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