Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
