One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
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