So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
