i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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