do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance