Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.

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  (334): Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me. http://tfl.nu/y7m9
  Replies (24) Good night (2273) Bad night (554)
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  (530): View more from California

  No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.

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  (530): No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here. http://tfl.nu/k9so
  Replies (33) Good night (2439) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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  (602): dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese. http://tfl.nu/mk7p
  Replies (30) Good night (4359) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.

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  (315): I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine. http://tfl.nu/7gi6
  Replies (15) Good night (6571) Bad night (1384)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.

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  (620): we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can. http://tfl.nu/vk8s
  Replies (5) Good night (1007) Bad night (4264)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak

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  (217): Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak http://tfl.nu/5n5o
  Replies (12) Good night (2383) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished

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  (650): Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished http://tfl.nu/z9y5
  Replies (2) Good night (1811) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.

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  (334): Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine. http://tfl.nu/200d
  Replies (6) Good night (2040) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)

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  (517): Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened) http://tfl.nu/by9k
  Replies (9) Good night (1533) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.

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  (916): New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know. http://tfl.nu/vjk4
  Replies (1) Good night (1483) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.

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  (717): Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend. http://tfl.nu/7j2q
  Replies (10) Good night (1325) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Love me.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just for one nugget?

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  (508): Love me. (781): GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS. (508): Just for one nugget? http://tfl.nu/9y03
  Replies (6) Good night (2750) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?

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  (816): There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/cxgm
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.

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  (813): I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state. http://tfl.nu/3ssc
  Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's true

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  (509): you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to (702): It's true http://tfl.nu/0sa6
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (208)

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