Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.

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  (912): She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious. http://tfl.nu/k9y8
  Replies (15) Good night (1134) Bad night (4398)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.

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  (336): They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up. http://tfl.nu/5b65
  Replies (5) Good night (4265) Bad night (836)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.

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  (773): I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do. http://tfl.nu/ja9q
  Replies (12) Good night (2465) Bad night (4344)
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  (949): View more from California

  Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

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  (949): Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN. http://tfl.nu/2o4b
  Replies (34) Good night (14761) Bad night (1619)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.

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  (845): You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake. http://tfl.nu/r8rw
  Replies (4) Good night (5017) Bad night (1037)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Are my feet made of real feet?

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  (740): Are my feet made of real feet? http://tfl.nu/dext
  Replies (17) Good night (5927) Bad night (1171)
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  (212): View more from New York

  There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.

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  (212): There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'. http://tfl.nu/wlcp
  Replies (21) Good night (1718) Bad night (2950)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.

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  (815): My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again. http://tfl.nu/vh8b
  Replies (7) Good night (1149) Bad night (3803)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.

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  (336): I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat. http://tfl.nu/ctm6
  Replies (5) Good night (1843) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.

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  (773): You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud. http://tfl.nu/imj6
  Replies (6) Good night (1726) Bad night (454)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...

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  (608): Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised... http://tfl.nu/yxma
  Replies (1) Good night (1164) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party

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  (734): it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party http://tfl.nu/d8h2
  Replies (8) Good night (1592) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.

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  (713): Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair. http://tfl.nu/2yyf
  Replies (8) Good night (515) Bad night (1240)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire

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  (404): Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire http://tfl.nu/4cfz
  Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.

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  (785): What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective. http://tfl.nu/kk8s
  Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (375)

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