so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
