haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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