thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize