in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
