She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
