Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
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Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
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It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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