hotel room ftw
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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