morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
