super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
