this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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