I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
