You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
