I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
