Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Is it penis luge time yet?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
