they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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