Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
