We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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