toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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