I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
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How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
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I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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