dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
