Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
there's paper in my vomit.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
