Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
is it fun? or sober?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
