my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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