you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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