i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
