hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
