The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
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Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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