she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's blow job season.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
