i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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