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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm skeptical of all drag queens.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (516): View more from New York

  I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

  (607): View more from New York

  I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated

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