let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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