my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months