Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.

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(301): View more from Maryland

There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.

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(207): View more from Maine

no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team

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(406): View more from Montana

You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt

(1-406): View more from Montana

That literally makes no sense

(406): View more from Montana

Exactly

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(859): View more from Kentucky

it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?

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(240): View more from Maryland

This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.

(1-240): View more from Maryland

You've ruined popcorn for me.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.

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