Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
