WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
