they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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